When i started fashionRIP, i had no idea i would end up playing with a theory of "everything." This sounds absurdly grand (and out from under the Physics department, so nervy) and yet because it is about connections, relationships and expanding consciousness to expand possibilities, it covers an immense range. "Everything" expands as well, thus it remains wide open.
With fashionRIP as a catalyst, i learned to plan for and set do-able temporary goals. This strengthened my risk/faith muscles. The more i learned, the more challenging and challenged the projects. I learned i must change to accommodate new knowledge. So what started out as an eco fashion arts collusion is now moving deeper into the core of why, who and what we are.
I am a mother and a new grandmother. I was taught to trust in the USA , at times i altered my course to suit the "real world's" demands. There were rebel years, but even so, i had faith in this thing called (N) America. Then that trust started to really erode. The sell, the system, the Dream all failed to add up to what i was actually experiencing, hearing and seeing.
As i dealt with this cognitive dissonance, i delved into more documentaries, more history, more science, more economics. As i shifted my vision, everything started to change This is still an experiment, but now i am far enough along to share results past the individual projects.
I know we thrive with change (adults this means no dumping these issues on the young, shame on you!) and apply what we know, even when it is counter to years of conditioned responses. We can throw out the dogma and spread our wings, we can fly, evolve and we had better.
The gift in all this is how alive one feels when going down a path that our curiosity, passions and joy unfolds. Yes, at times it feels lonely, separating from the herd has a down side. This is probably what forces us to share, so there you are, that curse and blessing juxtapose. See, we already know a lot of this stuff, we just don't act on it, we fear the cat calls of the herd or ?.
I also believe we should decide to remain inquisitive. We can continue to learn from as many disciplines/teachers/mentors/guides/friends/loved ones/acquaintances/events -as much we can handle. Every field, every person, every experience has viable, healthy and corrupt information files. That is ok, the more you learn the easier it is to sort it all out. This is fun, we are born to embrace the aha moments.
Our current education system (USA) is a hierarchical projection of Newtonian material and mechanistic (tech rules) philosophy and as such appears ill equipped to handle these new ideals. This means that though we are in this together, right now we need new ways to spread the info until it is safe enough for the herd and herders.
On getting back to finding personal paths and experimenting with the life you have now, some of my personal background story may be helpful. Everyone is different, but if you take a few minutes to assemble vibrant memories and jot them down, you will have some starter pieces of the puzzle that will help you navigate. Explore a while, dabble, take classes, go out of your way, stray out of your comfort zzzzzone, wake up to the moment. Even when you feel silly, laugh and do it anyway. It's just a friggin' experiment, relax.
I started writing the story of Isa and Lucas as a fashionRIP Project. I liked the idea of the Ice Queen thawing out in the global warming and then having to deal with her demons, Lucas being one of them -as this is a discomfort-able love story. I saw their path towards co-creative love as a metaphor for healthy global unity.
That was rich on its own. It was a great way to introduce the gift into what looks to me like a massive economic/elitist agreement to ignore the consequences of ignorance; to save face, justify positions and fortify the reflective materialist model (aka defending the turf).
All this feather fluffing, teeth baring and raging charges are classic, understandable, forgivable and best of all, stoppable. (My Q: How do we not see this for what it is?)
Weaving history into science into art into life, becomes what it will.
The "Journey to the Center of Being" (now part one of Isa - Ice Queen) emerged when i realized that getting Isa and Lucas to unite connected to some of the issues in my personal life.
Well that was interesting. My process of aligning project, product, service had jumped it's "work world" borders. The interactive network expanded (micro to macro) now everything matters more.
Example: For several years i have been trying to understand the love i have for a man that made no sense, that grew after the damage was done and confused me to the core. In trying to solve the puzzle, i opened my heart/mind to allow for more emotional, spiritual connection. I accepted to feel all the pain, doubt, extreme joy and serendipity and i asked the uni-verse for help. My barricades started to tumble...funny, because i thought the wall was his alone.
This helped me see how my own truths were embedded in cultural stories and how they distorted my world view. This pissed me off. I realized i had been trying to be me and live up to an image of what me should be, based on some very arrogant ignorant agendas that got handed down over the years. Cloaked in words like tradition, custom and the way the world works...period, they color perception, create beliefs, many of them false, more.These parasites live through us. What the hell!
So I had to figure out another way to "navigate." I started dancing with the uni-verse and that was cool. Then i realized i had to be a worthy partner, that after the dance there was homework. This is an interactive relationship and i learned to prep for the next dance. I think the uni-verse likes to mix it up, even the lesson repeats are uniquely formatted.
I also started deconstructing western mythology. This started as a way for Isa to see her self in all the stories, and as a means to untangle my own truth from classic dogma. Aside from the general obvious I wanted to understand more about a "knowing" experience i had a few years ago. Looking up at the aforementioned enigmatic man, i "heard" that he was "the one i have been waiting for all my life." Then the real crazee. "He is my king."
See, i don't think like that, not at all! So what was going on? What was the source? This remains a mystery.
(I later discovered the word king has roots in common with kin or of one's clan or tribe (this "other" is like self) which is interesting as Amit Goswami calls love an expression of acceptance from the immune system.)
I dared not share this experience with anyone except my mom. Many of us have been taught that "reason" smashes intuition, thinking is stronger than feeling and "it isn't real if you can't prove it." That no longer resonates. Fear stopped me when it mattered most, but now i am ready to write my way through this as best i can, Honesty and vulnerability go hand in hand, this is Isa courage.
FYI: What i imagine doesn't come from the place that this "knowing" does. Mind is more than brain and we are more than we are taught to think we are. So there it is. Whatever it is.
to be continued.